Why Fear Isn't An Excuse To Avoid Being Visible
Listen to this episode on the Purpose + Profit Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or the podcast player of your choice.
Today, we’re wrapping up our 4-part series on invisibility. Before we begin, I want to acknowledge that we are living in a very volatile and uncertain time in the United States. Fear and panic are rampant as we see a lot of concerning things coming out of the current administration, including threats to our first amendment rights. In today’s blog, I’m diving into the importance of not letting fear hold you back. I recognize that it’s easier said than done, especially for Black, Brown, and Indigenous women, who don’t benefit from the same social safety net that many white women have. The focus of the conversation below is in relation to being visible in your business, and where appropriate, in the larger cultural, political, and social landscape. Please use your judgment when it comes to using your voice.
With that said, let’s dive in.
I know from talking to women in my community that fear is one of the biggest barriers when it comes to creating visibility around your thought leadership and in your business.
As I reflected on my own journey, I know how many times fear has kept me paralyzed. In fact, I’ve just recently gone all in on sharing some of my own stories on Facebook and to my own email list, and those feelings are super fresh. As a recovering people-pleaser, my head was - and sometimes still is - filled with questions like:
What if they don’t take me seriously?
What if I mess up and say the wrong thing?
What if I alienate people?
What if I look ridiculous?
Over time though, those voices have quieted, largely, to a whisper as I’ve learned that fear doesn’t have to be a barrier.
As we bring this series to a close, I want you to know that every woman who has ever stepped into her power, who has done hard things, said the real things, has faced fear. But the difference between women who stay invisible and those who make an impact? They do it anyway.
You are never going to get rid of fear. Being fearless really isn’t a thing. But you do have to know what to do with the fear.
So, let’s break down how we move from being fearful to fierce!
Step 1: Name Your Fears
Fear thrives in the dark. Steve Maraboli, author of Life, the Truth, and Being Free, said, “Fear can only grow in darkness. Once you face fear with light, you win.” When we call it out, when we give it a name, that stranglehold fear often has on us loses some of its power.
So, ask yourself:
Am I afraid of what other people will think?
Am I afraid of failing?
Am I afraid of being too visible? Of taking up space?
Am I afraid I’ll actually be successful?
Write it down. Say it out loud. Tell a friend. Make it real, so you can deal with it.
Then ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen?
I have a tendency to worse-case-scenario things. Just ask my husband. But in all seriousness, I routinely catastrophize and spiral in the feelings of what the worst-case scenario could be, without really digging in and asking myself what it would actually look like. I keep it too nebulous and spiral in the feelings and worry. But when I spell out my fears and make them concrete, they’re rarely as bad as I think it will be.
What’s the best that could happen?
After getting clear on the worst-case, then I go to the other extreme (something that is very true to form for me) and see what could potentially be possible. Most of the time, the best-case scenario far outweighs the worst, and in reality, the result is probably somewhere in the middle.
It’s also when I often realize it’s not the worst case I fear, but rather, the success that could come from the best case actually happening.
Step 2: Take a Small, Bold Step Today
Fear wants you to stay still, and it’s easy to do it because it has a paralyzing effect. But action is the antidote.
It doesn’t have to be some massive leap forward. You don’t need to go from never speaking to jumping onto the TED stage or all of a sudden doing a big live on social media. But maybe…
If you’ve been afraid to speak up in a meeting, say one thing today. Ask a question or share something you’ve been thinking and/or observing.
If you’ve been hesitating to share your work, send it to a trusted friend and get their thoughts. Every sales page, workshop idea, content series… that I’m noodling on goes to my circle of trust before it ever gets talked about in public.
If you’ve been avoiding a big opportunity, say yes before you feel ready. There’s a balance here of course, but you know it’s a good stretch when you’ve got that swirly feeling in your gut but it’s not like a tidal wave about to crush you!
Confidence isn’t something you have before you start. It’s something you build by doing.
Step 3: Stop Waiting for Permission
No one is going to proclaim that you’re "ready." That would be nice, but as entrepreneurs, we have to kick our own booty in gear. When I’m spiraling, I often go back to WHY this work is important to me and the impact I want to make. When I’m deeply committed, my strength of will kicks in. That’s when I have to DECIDE to be ready.
If you need a permission slip or two…
Stop waiting for perfection. Progress is where it’s at!
Stop waiting for someone to choose you. When we KNOW what we’re doing is important and we’re deeply passionate about our work, you have to choose yourself.
Stop waiting until fear disappears. It won’t. You have to do the thing anyway.
Step 4: Expect Criticism
I know this will come as a surprise, but not everyone will like you.
Not everyone will like what you have to say.
That may sound harsh, especially to the people pleasers like me, but honestly, it’s a good thing!
I’m not going to go into an in-depth lecture about the importance of knowing your audience and clearly defining your niche - but you definitely should do that.
But the moment you start speaking up, taking up space, and owning your voice, you will make some people uncomfortable. In fact, we’re very much in an era where people are using their voices more and more, saying big, bold things that are designed to challenge the status quo, and the push back, depending on the space, can be a lot.
That’s not a sign that you should stop doing what you’re doing or saying what you’re saying. It’s a sign you’re doing something right.*
So, as you amp up your own journey, the real question isn’t “What if they don’t like me?”
It’s “What if the right people need to hear me, but I stay silent?”
* I want to offer one caveat. Sometimes, the push back we get is legitimate. In cases like that, you have to stop, examine, acknowledge, and where appropriate, apologize. An honest outcry is information and an invitation to do better.
Step 5: Surround Yourself With Women Who Lift You Up
Visibility is easier when you’re not doing it alone.
A couple of weeks ago, on my Linkedin Live show, Entrepreneurs Unfiltered, I spoke specifically about having a personal board of directors. These are the people who pour into you when you need wise counsel. They’ve got your back when the going feels hard.
I also believe being in communities of other women, whether you’re networking or in professional spaces helps buoy us when we need a boost.
So find your people.
Women who are stepping into their own power.
Women who will cheer for you when you speak up.
Women who are done shrinking and ready to own their space.
You don’t have to figure this out on your own, or go it alone!
Your Voice Is Needed—Right Now
There will never be a “perfect” time. You will never feel completely ready.
But you are ready enough.
If this resonates, I want to invite you to The Visibility Breakthrough Workshop!
This workshop is for women who are done letting fear win and are ready to be seen, heard, and unstoppable as they make an impact!
Your voice is your power. Use it.
