Break That Board
Have you ever had a dream that left you feeling anxious?
For the last several years, I’ve had a recurring dream about being attacked and having no voice. In the dream, I’m fighting a faceless attacker, but I can’t scream. No matter how much I try to yell, my voice is nothing more than a hoarse whisper. I wake up, time and again, with my heart beating out of my chest and this lingering sense of unease that follows me throughout the day.
This sort of dream isn’t actually that uncommon. A little bit of googling about the meaning of dreams shows that this is usually rooted in deep-seated fears, insecurities, and feeling like there’s something keeping you from saying what you really want to say.
In a casual conversation with one of my clients, Tasha Ina Church, I was telling her about this dream, and she perked up. She started asking me all these questions, and finally said, “Let me know when you want my help. We’ll dig into it.”
Fast forward to September of last year. I arrived on Maui, and Tasha took charge. She knew I was in the midst of a major business transition, desperately trying to find my footing… and unbeknownst to me at the time… my voice. As she drove me all over the island, sharing some of Maui’s hidden gems, making me jump off rocks into tide pools, she talked a lot about how empowerment is more than just physical safety. It’s understanding that you have a voice, that your voice has power, and more importantly, that it deserves to be heard.
As we pulled off the side of the road, she led me into a dense, lush green forest and walked me over to this massive tree she called the Tree of Life. After digging in her bag, she pulled out a wooden board and handed me a marker. “You’re going to break this board today. It’s an important symbol for breaking through barriers and limitations you may be facing. Now, write down what you want and need to break through to have your best year yet.” And then she walked away and gave me space to think and feel and write.
I wrote six things on that board, five of which I’ll share here:
Self-doubt
Fear
Perfectionism
Insecurity
Money blocks
I stood before her as she read through each line item, and then she showed me how to throw a solid punch. It was pretty bad ass. And then, she made me yell “NO” out loud. Over and over. Louder and louder while I was doing heel palm smashes against her protective gloves. Then she held up the board and I broke through it!
The relief of yelling, of breaking through a piece of wood was so overwhelming, I burst into tears as other women who happened to be in the forest starting clapping.
“Empowerment,” as Tasha shared, “is knowing that in any fight – physical, psychological, or emotional – you’re worth fighting for.”
As entrepreneurs, it’s easy to get lost in all the self-doubt, the uncertainty, the fear, the expectations, the [fill in the blank with your own inadequacy] and lose sight of what you’re really fighting for. I can tell you with certainty, your voice, your heart, your passion are worth fighting for.
We wrapped up the day at a beautiful labyrinth, where I actively walked the path of letting go and stepping into a new reality. I said yes to drawing on my own strength, serving with empathy, teaching with confidence, and speaking my truth. I said yes to asserting myself in situations that warrant it, surrounding myself with beautiful souls who believe in me and want the best for me, and standing up for issues that are important to me. I said yes to using my voice.
In saying yes to those things, I’ve freely been able to say no to the rest. It’s been life changing and so deeply healing.
It’s also led to my two best quarters ever, breaking the six-figure revenue barrier, and working with some of the best women I know.
Why am I telling you this story?
Yes, breaking boards with your hands is pretty freaking awesome. But more importantly, it’s a reminder.
1. Saying yes to you and your dreams is powerful. And it’s the first step to building the business you really want.
2. What you stand for matters. And it’s one of the most important differentiators you have. Talk about what you care about. There are a million people who do work similar to you… this is the stuff that sets you apart and compels people to say yes to working with you.
3. As business owners, we can only help people to the extent we’re willing to go ourselves. Anything less than that will leave you feeling inauthentic and inadequate.
It’s been a little over six months since I stood in the forest with Tasha, and I haven’t had the voiceless dream once since then. The physical act of breaking that board broke something inside me wide open, and while the path since then hasn’t been without difficulty or frustration, it has been worth it to find my voice and serve clients in the way I truly want to.
So, here’s my challenge to you: Break that board.
Write down the things you need to break through. The things that are keeping you from standing confidently in your expertise, from charging the kinds of prices you need to be charging, to saying what you really want to say.
And break through it. You may not be able to stand in a dim forest on Maui and break through a real board, but you can do it symbolically.
You’re worth it. And so are your dreams.
If you need a safe space to explore, grow, and break through things that are holding you back in your business, just us in the Empowered Entrepreneur Community.
Tasha Ina Church is the founder of ElleLiveAction, a women’s empowerment and self defense organization committed to helping each of us find and use our own voice. She offers online and in person self defense and empowerment training and coaching. Check her out on Instagram or Facebook.
