Do You HOBS Like Elle Woods?
I’ve got a soft spot for a good romcom, especially one where it seems unlikely the heroine will ever be able to reach her big, audacious goals, and Legally Blonde has all the makings of awesomeness. Elle Woods, played by Reese Witherspoon, has got to be one of the best characters of all time. Not just because she is lovingly oblivious, but because she sees the good in pretty much everyone, including herself. Whether it’s teaching Paulette “the bend and snap” or keeping Brooke Windham’s alibi, she is here for the underdog… even when she is seemingly one herself.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say Elle is a master at HOBS.
HOBS?
Yep, Helping Others Be Successful.
So, how does Elle Woods do this? Let me recount a few of her best HOBS moments.
She sees the best in people – anyone remember how everyone thought David Kidney, the one who was deworming orphans in Somalia, was a little on the… weird side? And how she stepped in when those girls were making fun of him?
She encourages people to step into their own power – I KNOW you remember how she encouraged Paulette to go for it with her UPS man. I mean, the bend and snap works every time, right?
She’s brutally honest – Let’s not forget that little fashion lesson she gave the shop girl about low viscosity rayon when she tried to sell Elle last season’s dress at full price.
She has a deep sense of justice and personal respect – I think we can all agree that Professor Callahan’s sexual harassment and her subsequently quitting a super important internship spoke volumes.
Okay, I’ll stop there, but there are loads of other great scenes, especially if you include Legally Blonde 2, where Elle also shines like the fourth of July. But why is this important, Jess?
Because we need others to help us be successful. Which means you have to help others be successful. In a world where scarcity and competition run rampant, the power of women HOBSing (is that a verb? We’ll go with it.) is so, so important. In fact, a recent Harvard Business Review study highlights just how important close-knit networks are to female success. “Women who were in the top quartile of centrality [(centrality is the quality of being in or near the center, and in this case at the high end)] and had a female-dominated inner circle of 1-3 women landed leadership positions that were 2.5 times higher in authority and pay than those of their female peers lacking this combination.”
And that’s in the professional space. Just think about how much more important those networks are to female entrepreneurs, who are often out there forging their path ALONE! You’ve heard me talk about the importance of abundance, but it goes beyond just believing there’s enough for everyone. There is real power when we ladies work together. Your network, while extensive, isn’t nearly as powerful as both of our networks combined. My unique superpowers are great, but when we add your superpowers into the mix, with the goal of building and growing our businesses… well, you can see how impactful and explosive that can be!
As I got to thinking more about this (a big shout out to my husband, Jeremy, for giving me the HOBS acronym), I decided to see how other women were HOBSing. So, I posed the following questions to a variety of my networks:
How have you helped others be successful? How have others helped you?
And the answers were AMAZING! My heart was exploding at the ideas these women brought forth, and so I’m going share them with you… and challenge you to think about how you’re doing this for others.
Listening – really engaging and listening to hear and understand
Encouragement – building each other up with words of encouragement and other affirmations
Radical honesty
Accountability
Judgement-free compassion
Serving as a member of someone’s personal board of directors
Connecting people
Giving referrals
Making introductions
Offering testimonials and reviews on their services and products
Mentorship
Being a sounding board and helping women see their own genius
Challenging each other to dig deeper, get out of our comfort zones
Sharing successes and failures – real vulnerability
Giving
Many of these ideas cost you nothing, and they can and do make a world of difference to someone else! I can’t tell you how many women I’ve talked to who just need to be heard, who need to hear that they’re not alone, that their business isn’t as stuck as they think it is, and that they aren’t crazy for taking the leap from their high salary professional job to follow their dreams.
Think about how amazing it would be if we supported each other better, how we could make decisions faster and better, increase our confidence, and more importantly, know that we aren’t alone! I know from research by the National Academy of Sciences and my own experience that high performing women have at least one thing in common: tight knit circles of other women who are walking alongside them, mentoring them, challenging them, laughing with them, and holding them accountable.
And so, here’s my challenge to you:
Make sure you have a personal board of directors – a group of women who bring different skills, talents, and qualities to the table, and most importantly they are all FOR you.
Really ask yourself: Am I helping others be successful? How? Get specific. Could you be doing more?
Don’t let limiting beliefs hold you back. Be willing to do the hard work to tackle those money blocks, end self-sabotage, and stop tolerating the BS.
Think about what help YOU need. Ask for it. I know… I know! It’s hard. I’m 100% a work in progress here, too. But sometimes your fellow CEOs need to hear exactly what you need, so they can fill the gap. And sometimes, you need to invest in coaching to get yourself unstuck.
HOBSing, like exercise, gives you endorphins. And in the words of Elle Woods, “endorphins make you happy.” So, what are you waiting for?
Let’s go HOBS and lift each other up.
Image purchased through BrisacStudios
