Stop Trying To Find Your Passion - Part 2
How many times have you been told to “find” your passion? That if you look hard enough, it’ll appear? This idea of “finding” your passion is blasted everywhere, and if I’m honest, can be really hard to swallow when it feels like nothing really lights you up. In fact, a little over a year ago, I wrote an entire blog post about this topic, and here I am, about to talk about it again.
This whole concept of passion and purpose shifted for me a couple of years ago, and I was reminded of it when a recent Facebook memory came up. I remember that day in 2017 vividly. I was standing in a small school cafeteria in Minneapolis, MN teaching an anti-bullying workshop to Somali moms. It was such a profound moment, because I had an interpreter for the first time in my life, and yet, because of my years spent living in Egypt and studying the Arabic language, I could actually understand her. Couple that with a good part of that same year spent in Ethiopia and seeing so many similarities between Somali and Ethiopian culture… it was like an out of body experience watching all my life paths intersect to bring to me to this one moment.
So, why do I bring this experience up? Well, because in a podcast interview this week, I was asked the question:
So, how do you find your passion/purpose/mission?
First, let me share something that may help take some of the pressure off. If you’re still digging into this, excavating and exploring, you’re not alone. Passion and purpose are constantly evolving. Before the incident at the Somali school and in the intervening years, I have seen the issues, causes, and focus of my life shift and mature.
Prior to that, I spent a lot of time searching, trying out all kinds of things to figure it out: jewelry making, cupcake baking, my own consulting business, working in Corporate America, running, volunteering… and nothing ever fully felt right. And yet, I kept searching, feeling like there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t quite answer the question: What’s your passion? What do you want to do with your life?
So, why are we telling people to “find” their passion, when it’s clear that’s not actually how it works?
Maybe because it has a nice ring to it? It certainly sounds better than “develop” or “uncover.” But the truth is, that’s exactly what happens.
There’s no way I could have orchestrated all the random pieces of my life in such a perfect way to put me in that Somali school. I can look back now, with 20/20 vision, and see how each decision I made and some that were made for me, brought me to that place. But I would never have been able to say, I’m going to do this and a little bit of that to help me get to the place where I can now say with confidence that my heart and soul are filled to the brim when I’m helping business founders build business that create a massive ripple effect in the world. That realization came from years of experiences, soul-searching, trial and error, and a willingness to try new things.
When we tell people to “find” their passion, it’s like we’re telling them that when this magical thing occurs everything will slot perfectly in place, and voila! purpose and passion found!
It simply does not work like that.
If you’re in the same boat I was for years, here’s what I recommend:
Focus on the things you really care about. Focus on what you love doing, who you love serving, and what makes you truly happy. This will ultimately allow your work, time, energy, and efforts to fully align with your values and how you want to show up in the world.
Look at what you stand FOR and what you’re AGAINST. After living in places where people aren’t allowed to speak their mind, to have access to the tools, resources, and institutions that set them up for success, I realized that I am FOR people and organizations that are actively working to better the lives of others and help them create new opportunities for themselves. I am AGAINST the suppression of others’ voices. I’m against things that minimize others and keep people from stepping into their full potential.
What’s your story? You are your own person. You are your own treasure trove of awesome made up of skills, experiences, talents, and so much more. You have a unique story, a unique through-line. Steve Jobs once said, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” Look back at your experiences, the journey you’ve been on and see what you notice.
No one else is like you. No one else will have gotten to the same place or created the same things that you have… and certainly not in the same way you have.
If you’ve been running your business and feel like the shiny excitement has worn off, if you’re wondering if the business you’ve built is really making an impact on the issues that matter, I invite you to go within. See what comes up for you in the three areas above… and most of all, be patient.
