What the Friction In Your Business Is Trying to Tell You
There was a time when I loved downhill skiing.
There’s nothing like the rush of cold air, racing down the mountain, and the feel of your skis carving turns down the perfect slope. It was one of my favorite ways to spend a winter day, especially because everyone in my family also loves it.
In April 2021, after tearing my ACL and meniscus skiing on spring break, something changed.
Even after I got back on the proverbial horse, I noticed the thrill was gone. Instead of excitement, I felt anxious, hyperaware of every bump and the possibility of getting hurt again. The very thing that once lit me up now made me tense, and the whole experience unenjoyable.
It took me a while to realize that nothing was wrong with me. I’d simply changed.
What I wanted from the experience had evolved. I still loved the snow, the quiet of the mountains, and the feeling of gliding under a bluebird sky, but I wanted it to look and feel different.
So, I tried Nordic skiing instead. It offered the same beauty and challenge, but with less pressure. I could still be in nature, still move my body, but in a way that fit who I was now.
That’s what friction of success feels like in business, too.
Something that used to excite you starts to feel uneasy, uncertain, or heavy. It’s not because you’ve lost your edge, but rather that you’ve outgrown the way you’ve been doing it.
Friction Is Feedback
In my work with high-achieving women founders, I see this pattern all the time. They’ve built successful, growing businesses, often multi–six or seven figures, but beneath the surface, something feels off.
They’re still moving forward, but it feels harder than it used to. Decisions take longer, what used to be inspiring feels forced, and the excitement that once came naturally has turned into strain.
That’s not failure. That’s feedback.
Friction of success, as we discussed last week, is when your growth has outpaced your current strategy, structure, message, and even you, and that grindy feeling is your business’s way of telling you that something is misaligned. It’s an invitation to evolve, not a signal to stop.
The key is learning how to decode what the friction is trying to tell you.
In most growing businesses, friction shows up in one (or more) of four key areas: Conviction, Clarity, Demand, and Impact.
Each one represents a vital part of your growth engine, and when one piece slips out of alignment, you feel it.
Conviction
Conviction is the foundation of your business. It’s the belief system that fuels everything you build, from who you hire, the kinds of clients you work with, the problems you solve, your messaging, and approach to leadership.
When conviction is strong and clearly articulated, it makes it so much easier for everything else to align. When it starts to shift and change, however, that’s when friction starts to creep in.
This can take a lot of different forms, but I find it often shows up when your mission feels smaller or disconnected from the woman you are now. You start to question what used to feel certain and stable and end up saying yes out of obligation instead of belief.
Our old friend “should” loooves when we’re stuck here.
When conviction is on unstable ground, your business loses its internal compass. You’re still moving, but without clear direction.
Ask yourself:
Do my decisions feel grounded in purpose or something bigger than me?
Can you clearly articulate why your work matters for yourself, to your team, and to your clients?
Are you leading from conviction as opposed to the shoulds or out of obligation?
Am I just allowing the momentum of the business to carry me forward instead of the mission?
Conviction friction often appears first. It’s the whisper that keeps nagging before burnout hits, and it’s your business’s way of asking, “Do you still believe in this version of your vision?”
2. Clarity
Clarity is what turns conviction into direction. It’s how you communicate your purpose, lead your team, and make decisions that move the business forward.
When clarity slips, everything starts to feel noisy. Your message feels scattered or overly complicated, and your language hasn’t caught up with your growth. This is also where the team is busy but not aligned. They’re doing the work, but it feels transactional.
In many ways it feels like you’ve lost your way. As a hiker, I like knowing exactly where I’m going, but when clarity is missing, it’s like hiking with an outdated map.
Ask Yourself:
Is my message landing the way it used to, or does it feel like the adults in Charlie Brown… wah wah wah wah wah wah…?
Can everyone on the team easily repeat what we’re about? Can they articulate what we stand for, how they fit in, and why it matters?
Does decision-making feel like moving through wet concrete?
What part of my business feels foggy or overcomplicated right now?
Clarity friction shows up when you’ve evolved faster than your messaging. This is not a communications issue; it’s a calibration issue.
3. Demand
Demand is where conviction and clarity meet the market. It’s how your message and offers resonate with your ideal audience and whether they compel people to take action.
When demand is off, referral sources or repeat clients slow to a trickle, sales cycles feel longer and harder, and marketing feels like you’re pushing a boulder uphill.
If you’ve ever been in this space, you know it really freaking stinks. In order to fix it, we often default to rebrands, a billion tweaks on our website copy, creating new funnels, and all sorts of other quick fixes.
None of those things will work because the problem is misalignment, and your message no longer matches the moment your ideal clients are in. You’ve evolved… and so have they.
Ask Yourself:
Is my messaging meeting my ideal clients where they are right now?
Am I attracting opportunities, partnerships, collaborations, referrals… that feel exciting and aligned?
Does my growth feel natural or forced?
Am I still speaking to who I used to serve, or who I serve now? What about the people I want to serve in the future?
Demand friction is your market’s way of telling you to update your message to match your evolution as the founder and leader of the company.
4. Impact
Impact is the ripple effect of your work. It’s the tangible and intangible ways your business makes a difference.
When impact friction shows up, it’s often subtle. You’re still achieving results, but those results feel… hollow. You can’t quite see the bigger picture of your influence the way you used to, and for impact-driven entrepreneurs, this is a really crummy feeling.
For some, it feels like just checking boxes because that’s what they’ve always done. It’s not that the work and the ripple effect of it isn’t important, but it feels less meaningful. Like the other three levers, that’s because there’s a misalignment between who you are and what you want the business to be vs what it actually is right now.
When this happens, you have to do the work to re-root yourself in the conviction behind the work and where you ultimately want to take the business in the future.
Ask Yourself:
Can I see, measure, and feel the difference my work is making?
Do the results I’m seeing, and the ripple effect of them, energize me and the team?
What kind of impact do I want to be known for in this next season?
Impact friction is your invitation to redefine success and rebuild your strategy around what truly matters most to you and the team.
The Realignment Moment
Now that you’ve had a chance to reflect on the four levers, please resist the urge to overhaul everything at once. I know fixing things is a natural reaction to friction, but throwing it all out and starting over is rarely the answer.
This is the time to get specific. The goal is to identify where and how the friction is showing up and what it’s asking you to pay attention to.
I created the Conviction-Driven Growth Scorecard™ to help you pinpoint exactly what’s misaligned and to clarify what needs recalibration, so you can move from tension to traction with confidence.
Once you understand the signal beneath the strain, you can refine your strategy to match who you’ve become.
Just like I didn’t give up skiing all together. I simply found a new way to experience the snow.
This is your invitation to evolve the way you lead and grow, without losing what you love about your business.
Next week, we’ll get into the fun bits and explore how to strategically rebuild what you’ve outgrown.
