The Moment You Ask for What You Want, Everything Changes
Listen to this episode on the Purpose + Profit Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or the podcast player of your choice.
This is Part 4 of a 4-Part Series called Why Isn’t It Working? Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 here.
Let me tell you a quick story. One that fundamentally changed my life, the way I show up, and how I do business.
In 2017, I was working on a contract through Boeing and USAID (one of the many reasons I’m so passionate about taking a stand against what’s happening under the current administration) in Ethiopia.
It was the final leg of a multi-trip project, and I had poured myself into building leadership curriculum, prepping for the train-the-trainer program we were going to be teaching, and laying the groundwork for the official handover and long-term impact.
And then, just before I was supposed to leave, literally less than 24 hours before I was supposed to board the flight to Addis Ababa, the trip got canceled.
I panicked. Not because I couldn't pivot. When you work with big companies, that’s the name of the game.
No, I panicked because as a consultant and contractor, I was staring down four weeks of lost revenue.
I told my husband, and he casually asked, “Don’t you have a cancellation clause?”
Of course I did. I should have been given two weeks notice.
But my brain went into a spiral:
Should I ask for it?
Is it okay to enforce an aid contract?
What if they can’t pay? What if it’s taking money away from something important?
I was tap dancing. Rationalizing. Shrinking.
Until my husband said something I’ll never forget:
“No man is stressing about this. He would’ve already sent the invoice.”
We’ve Been Conditioned to Shrink
That was the moment it hit me: I hadn’t asked.
Not directly. Not clearly. Not with authority.
I had spent all my trying worrying, questioning, talking to others about what I should do, that I wasn’t even taking real action.
But when I finally got on the phone and said, “This isn’t personal. It’s business. I should be paid because the contract says so.”
As I waited with bated breath, my liaison simply responded with, “Okay. I just needed to hear you ask.”
Mic. Drop.
The Real Problem Isn’t Confidence. It’s Conditioning.
This isn’t a story about mindset. Or pricing. Or negotiating. Although there is some of that here.
This story is about the deeply ingrained belief that women have that asking for what we’re due is somehow too much. It’s too bold, too risky, too aggressive.
And it’s not just personal. It’s systemic.
We were raised inside systems that were never built for us to fully own our power. We hesitate to lead unapologetically, set the price and hold the line, say what we really want to say, and enforce the contracts we write.
So if you’ve ever hesitated to:
Raise your rates out of fear that it’ll price you out of business and no one will buy…
Set a real boundary and stick to it, even when others don’t like it…
Say “No” without guilt (hard I know when people-pleasing is in our blood)
Ask for what’s already yours
Revamp your business so that it truly serves you and your clients in a deeply aligned way…
You’re not weak. You’re not broken.
You’re human, and you’ve been taught in visible and invisible ways to shrink.
But you don’t have to stay there.
Your Business Reflects What You Believe You Deserve
When women hesitate to claim their full value, all that juicy brilliant goodness wrapped up in their years of expertise and experience, it shows up everywhere.
It looks like underpriced offers, overstuffed services, and invisible and often non-existent boundaries.
It shows up in wobbly, unclear messaging and burnout and frustration disguised as hustle.
I see this even in incredibly smart, seasoned entrepreneurs, women who are out here changing lives and still whispering their fees.
But the moment you ask, clearly, directly, and without apology, something shifts.
When you lock in, say what you want to say, and hold firm, it’s like your business takes a breath and finally catches up to your brilliance.
I can tell you that’s exactly how it felt when I got off that phone call that day. Game. Changer.
The Bold Rebuild™ Is About More Than Strategy
This is why I am so passionate about the work we do inside The Bold Rebuild™. Over the last 3 weeks, we have talked a lot about the conditions that make this work necessary.
But in talking with the many clients I’ve had over the years, I can tell you the part that is the most impactful is not what you think.
Yes, rebuilding your business model in a way that feels freaking awesome to you is powerful.
Clarifying the big idea and aligning your visibility around it, so you can show up in the way only you can show up makes a massive difference.
And yes, getting strategic about what needs to evolve, building a plan to do it, and executing it together is a game-changer.
But the real power in this process is that you reclaim your voice.
We rewrite the rules we’ve internalized, the ones that have conditioned us to minimize and contort ourselves to fit into boxes and containers that do not serve us!
We stop spiraling, second-guessing, and start standing in what we know to be true.
That you’re worth it. That your work matters. That what you’re building deserves to support you fully—financially, emotionally, and energetically.
If you feel this deep in your bones, if you know that what you’re doing in your business and life isn’t the fullest or best expression of who you are or what you want to create in this world, I have two things for you!
First, make sure you grab my free guide, Why Isn’t This Working?
If you’ve been playing small or playing nice - and it’s not working… or better yet, you’re sick and freaking tired of it - it’s time to get real about what’s actually holding you back. This guide will help you spot the patterns, own your value, and take the first bold step toward the rebuild you’ve been craving.
And second, if you know you need support right now, let’s talk about what The Bold Rebuild™ could look like and do for you and your business. There’s no obligation. Only clarity, understanding, and a plan forward. Schedule your free Bold Rebuild™ call by clicking here.
We’ve come a long way in this series. If you take nothing else from this series, I hope you hear this: Ask For It!
It’s time to stop waiting for permission and start owning your power.
